Before the Landmark Forum, my relationship with my dad was fine. Our conversations were very short and predictable. Usually it was "how are you? How's the car? How's the weather? here's your mother."

While in the Landmark Forum, I realized that, at an early age, I decided that my dad wasn't "Ward Cleaver" or like any of the other TV dads I saw, and therefore, he wasn't the "right" dad. All my dad did was he gave my a bicycle. I was 8. It was 2 months before Christmas and he told me that this was my Christmas present and he wanted me to have it early, so I could enjoy it in good weather. From that day on, nothing my dad did was ever "good enough".

After I turned 18, I stopped calling him "Dad" and called him by his first name, like he wasn't my dad, just a guy who was friend with my mother. All my life I used my dad as an excuse for why my life didn't turn out, if only my dad had loved me.....I wouldn't have these problems with men in my life. I was 37 and never married.

At the break, I called my dad and said "Hi dad, how are you? (first change)" He immediately said, "Your mother's not here". I said,"That's OK dad, I called to talk to you". I could hear his jaw drop from 200 miles away. He asked if I was OK. I said yes, dad, I'm taking this course and I realized some things. I aplogize for shutting you out of my life. I have done this since a very early age and I'm sorry. My dad then ran to my rescue, "That's ok honey, all children do that". That's when I realized that he really IS the RIGHT DAD. I said, "But dad that's not what I'm committed to. I want a different kind of relationship with you, where your're in my life". My dad then said, Well your mother and I love you very much. I don't remember my dad EVER using the "L" word. I pushed for more. I said, "Dad it would be very powerful for me if you used the first person". Dad said, "I speak for your mother because she's not here right now" I said,"I understand Dad, and it would be very powerful for me if you were to speak it in the first person". He then said something I never heard him say in 37 years; he said, "I love you Connie, I love you very much".

Since that day, whenever we speak, we always say "I love you". Just a few weeks ago, it was my "Dad" who gave me away at my wedding. Whereas before I might have told him after I was married.

You can also read about Connie's breakthrough in romance. in Landmark's Self Expression and Leadership Program.